Because I Say So…………


Emer O’Toole (now there’s an Irish name if ever I heard one – sigh) in The Guardian has penned a wee screed, disinviting men from feminism. In fact the title of her article is reminiscent of a petulant child saying “fine, if you don’t want to play the game by MY rules I’m going home AND – I’m taking my ball with me – so there!”

“Men – if you’re not a feminist, it’s fine, just move on”

She also helpfully supplies some “handy tests” to figure out if you’re a feminist or not, with the less than subtle threat that talking about “how difficult life is for men” is a big fat no no – now in the body of her article she does drone on about “equal rights for women” though apparently actually comparing the alleged superior rights of men WITH what she believes are the inferior rights of women is not necessary to prove her contention – nope – like all feminists Emer relies on that age old, tried and tested device of the perennially stupid to PROVE her point.

“because I say so!”

Therefore; –

“Feminism doesn’t need allies who caveat any support by saying how difficult life is for men. Take these handy tests to work out where you stand”

 Emer’s “tests” consist of three anecdotes – and we all know that “anecdotes” are the litmus test of hard evidence – don’t we? None of this citing actual studies, or empirical evidence for our Emer – though in the context of a feminist citing “studies” one does have to take into account that feminists are copping on, that if one cites’ a “study” especially a feminist one, then debunking it is almost the equivalent of flicking away a fly buzzing about your head – it’s THAT difficult. 

Hmmmm, so I guess it makes sense from a feminist perspective to fall back on that tried and tested device, akin to soothsaying and reading the innards of frogs as the benchmark for the veracity of one’s “opinion”

“because I say so”

But, let’s just be devils and examine Emer’s “anecdotes” a little more closely than I’m betting she would like.

Number I is a classic of feminist stupidity, it is the usual female whining about “how they look” and how “society pressures women to conform to certain beauty standards, blah blah blah” and when a “male feminist friend” points out that men have those kinds of pressures, just in a different way, she immediately slaps him down with  – eating disorders, cosmetic surgery and hairy legs.

“Anecdote 1: Last year, I gave a talk at the Women of the World” festival about body hair and sexism. A male feminist friend watched it, and texted me to say that men are affected by similar pressures when it comes to the body, just in different ways. I replied that nine out of 10 eating disorders are suffered by women, 95% of cosmetic surgeries are carried out on women, and I had yet to meet a man ashamed of the hair on his legs. All the same, he insisted, If I’d taken account of men’s experiences in my talk, I could have gained more allies.”

Apparently hairy legs, and elective cosmetic surgery are THE burning issues on a global scale for snippy “we don’t need men to be feminists” waspish guardian writers, ‘cos feminists are “doing just fine, thank you very much” like Emer.

Even before we get on to her next two “anecdotes” I have to say this – I’m genuinely surprised that Emer HAS any male friends – never mind feminist male friends – if THAT’S how she conducts conversations with her friends – ignorant, ill-mannered, dismissive of her friends opinions, and just being an all round snotty bitch.  The next two “anecdotes” illustrates perfectly Emer’s conversational style.

 “Anecdote 2: I am discussing street harassment with a male feminist friend. He says that men are more likely to experience violence on the streets than women. I wholeheartedly agree, then continue talking about street harassment. I’m instructed that if I expect men to be allies in the feminist movement, I can’t talk about wolf whistles and arse pats when men are at risk of having their teeth kicked in.”

As you can see, “getting your teeth kicked in” in no way compares to the trauma of being “wolf whistled” at, or getting “arse pats” makes sense doesn’t it? After all, “having your teeth kicked in” is a piffling concern compared to the hurt feelings, the “how dare you whistle at ME” stress that Emer and her feminist pals have to endure!

No comparison, at all.

Anecdote three is a yet another classic of feminist obfuscation – Emer is in a pub droning on about “the obstacles that a girl born today may have to face as she grows up” you know, like preferential treatment from cradle to childhood, wearing her “boys are stupid, throw rocks at them” tee shirt,  right up to when she enters university or college with her grants, and extra little “helps” to do her “women’s studies” degree, and just for shits and giggles, maybe accuse some rapey rapist boy of sexual assault – after she got pissed, decided to explore her inner slut, then woke up realising she would have to do the “walk of shame” across campus.  Otherwise, everybody might think she actually IS a drunken slut.

“Anecdote 3: In the pub, a group of friends is discussing the obstacles that a girl born today may have to face as she grows up. A male feminist friend says that in his law firm women with three children are now becoming partners, and in 20 years – he can guarantee – the glass ceiling will no longer exist; the real problem, as he sees it, is male students dropping out of law degrees. The next day, he emails to say that he calls himself a feminist, and implies that if feminism is to be more than reverse sexism, men’s issues must be taken into account. He includes a link to a Wikipedia entry on men and feminism.”

Emer is so convinced of how just so damn right she is, and how feminism is this superior and morally unassailable force for good (all evidence to the contrary piling up, and up, and up) that she  point blank refuses for one solitary single moment to think about calling herself a “genderist” as suggested by Joss Whedon – of Buffy The Vampire Slayer fame, and pppppft to ANY man who would dare suggest that she does so! Well, let’s just hear it from Emer herself

“But I don’t think I want them as allies any more than I want to start calling myself a “genderist” because Joss Whedon thinks ‘feminist’ sounds icky”

Because Emer is such a clever clogs she shows us some “charts” yes, you read that right – “charts” so you can test yourself, to see if you pass the “am I a feminist” test. Bearing in mind the exceedingly high ethical moral and intellectual high standards of human perfection one requires to BE allowed to BE a feminist.

“Somewhere along the line, someone came up with a pithy, witty test for feminism that might be illustrated as follows”

Click on the linked article to see these “pithy, witty” test (s) for feminism.  Emer does have some words of comfort for those who fail the “are you a feminist” test – because after all, if ALL feminists are as “charming” and “civil to their friends” and as “intellectually rigorous” when making claims as Emer – who wouldn’t want to join such a……………..special, waspish, viperous and pig ignorant person as Emer in her feminism club?

“Have you surprised yourself by getting a “not a feminist” result when you’ve been proudly calling yourself a feminist for years? Are you getting bogged down in semantics, shrugging “it depends what you mean by equality“, instead of answering the questions in the straightforward spirit in which they are asked? Are you feeling excluded from an equality movement that you instinctively feel you should be a part of? Even a bit angry that you’re excluded, perhaps? Are you thinking: “Fine then! If that’s how you want to define feminism – fine! But – be warned – you’re losing me as an ally.”

Don’t be angry. You don’t have to be a feminist. There are plenty of ways to be awesome without working towards equal rights for women

See, Emer DOES have a……….nicer side……being excluded from feminism just shows that not everyone can be as “awesome” or special, or just plain old as superior as good old Emer. 

Not everyone can achieve the heights of callousness towards the suffering of other human beings, the pinnacle of pride at the fact that four times  as men as women commit suicide, or preen at the campaign of demonization of boys, that succeeds in blocking the vast majority of those boys from going to college or university, and anyway, why would boys even NEED to go to college?

Oh wait, I forgot – so that Emer and her sista’s will have some handy male to blame for making them do “the walk of shame” after a night of drunken sluttishness – but not too many – don’t want these inferior and less special human beings getting uppity now – do we?

Emer throws a few bones to those disappointed souls who “are worrying about what feminism will do without you” because you see, yet again – feminism HAS Emer, AND one presumes Emer’s pals – the ones who can stand the sight and sound of her for more than 10 minutes that is – feminism is fiiiiiiiiiiiinnne.

“And, please, if you are worrying about what feminism will do without you, stop. The feminist movement does not need you. It’s doing a pretty incredible job of tackling female disadvantage without pandering to reluctant allies.”

Oh yes all the polls show that feminism is full steam ahead, gathering more and more followers……….sorry? what?

It isn’t? Really? All the polls show a rapid decline in support for feminism? Seriously? Uh oh – does Emer know? Who wants to be the one to tell her?

With regard to “taking the test” to see if I personally qualify as a feminist – nope – didn’t – the only test I would administer to myself is the “am I a human being” test – and all I need for that is a pin, a bit of cotton wool and to grit my teeth and……….if I bleed – I’m a human being.

By the way, I didn’t throw in any links to any of the claims I made – I’m taking my cue from Emer – after all – SHE knows best.

But, should any feminists pop in here and demand some – I WILL post page after page of articles. Studies, polls and papers, so many that you all will probably go blind – or mad – whichever!



13 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. independentshock
    Jan 10, 2014 @ 20:03:10

    Dear Anja, I found your blog today and wanted to thank you for oh so many interesting posts. Did not have any work done today but it’s hardly your fault 🙂


    • Anja Eriud
      Jan 10, 2014 @ 20:39:54

      Hi Independantshock

      Thank you for kind words and welcome – make yourself at home and sorry about the “work” thing 🙂


  2. John mws
    Jan 10, 2014 @ 20:20:38

    So men oppress women by growing hair and letting women be vain, allowing them do better in education, and allegedly do not know the difference between a 1980s Benny Hill sketch and the real world. I am so glad to know I would fail her non-witty test. Bigotry or misandry does not make me laugh.

    So lets try the anecdote test – personally I have never see a girl patted on the botton or wolf whistles in public by a stranger in my life. Truth. The key word being stranger. I have had both done to me by random women when I was younger. Also hen parties make men look like saints when it comes to sexual behaviour towards strangers in public.


    • Anja Eriud
      Jan 10, 2014 @ 20:43:25

      Hi john mws

      Welcome to Not a Feminist and for your comment – yep – anything that women “have to do” that benefits them and them alone IS oppression – did you not get the memo?

      I’ve never actually seen a man pat some twats backside either, randomly, out of the blue – but it must happen AAAAALLLLLL the time – Emer says so – and she’s a feminist – ergo – the font of all knowledge and truth!



  3. laura72bristol
    Jan 11, 2014 @ 10:56:26

    absolutely fantastic article. thank you. I’d love to see the stats about one of your last points, the rapid decline in support of feminism, if you could. I am pretty sure Emer herself is monitoring this alright. but of course she has to pretend she doesnt care at all. this thought I find super exciting, that you wrote such a good article, which we are all loving so much, and though she pretends she doesnt know of this, she does know so so well, and is accumulating frustration at seeing this and having to keep it under the carpet. it’s the best victory.

    by the way, a blogger friend invited Elmer to respond to this article of yours, and this is what she emailed back apparently: ” Hi *name of emailer*,

    I’m too busy to respond to this, but thank you for the invite,

    All the best,


    if ever there was any need to confirm she the most open person to dialogue.


    • Anja Eriud
      Jan 11, 2014 @ 11:31:24

      Hi Laura

      Welcome to Not A Feminist, and thank you for your kind comments, if you go to the archives at the side and click on November you’ll find a post called “Not A Feminist”

      Yes I know, I’m being lazy, and I apologise, am just in the middle of writing two articles and my broadband is playing silly buggers with me today.

      As soon as it settles down and stops saying “Internet explorer can’t display the webpage” will post some stats and articles for you – that or I’ll throw this damn laptop out the window.

      As for the lovely Emer?

      Hi Emer – hope you’re having a fabulous day and looking forward to your next article – in fact I can hardly wait 😉


  4. laura72bristol
    Jan 11, 2014 @ 10:59:44

    Reblogged this on laura72bristol and commented:
    fantastic to the point article. must read. compelling truths nobody wants to hear anymore.


  5. Brian Boru
    Jan 11, 2014 @ 14:11:19

    Now now Anja, I’m very disappointed with you, can’t you pick on someone your own size?

    What I Iove about the Guardian is how easy it is to make fun of the ridiculous drivel they publish. What makes it even funnier is that they clearly believe their own nonsense wholeheartedly, with not the slightest consciousness of how absurd they are. David Thompson takes particular delight in this sport, as do his commenters. If you want real examples of “pithy, witty”, take a peek. Poor Emer’s way out of her class.

    Here’s a small sample to whet your appetite. Some of these are just so far down the rabbit hole, even the rabbits would fear to tread: (a classic!).

    And BTW, “genderist” is just about right – it’s precisely what they are. Let’s call a spade a spade. I’ve been using the term for years, and never as a compliment. Or just plain old gender fascist – it may not be semantically correct, but everyone gets it except the usual suspects of course, who are too cocooned in their artificial self-righteousness to realise that they’re the “bad guys”, so to speak.


    • Anja Eriud
      Jan 11, 2014 @ 14:35:23

      Hi Brian

      Sigh – you’re right, I feel bad now……………….aaaaaaaaaaannnd over it! 😉

      Thanks for the links, will give Mr. Thompson the once over and…………..probably will be dropping the “Mr” afterwards 🙂


  6. donzaloog
    Jan 11, 2014 @ 22:30:48

    Just another woman complaining about useless shit. I need to ask: who’s holding a gun to women’s heads forcing them to shave their legs? Women choose to do that because men don’t like women with hairy legs. You can choose not to shave your legs if you want to but don’t expect many guys to want to touch you. That’s how attraction works.

    Iirc traditionally most women didn’t have hairy legs and it’s only because of all the chemicals in our foods these days that women have more testosterone leading to hairy hairier bodies. Correct me if I’m wrong there.


  7. lanavor22
    Jan 14, 2014 @ 14:19:10

    I just stumbled upon your blog today. I have been reading your posts for hours. Really wonderful stuff. Such honest truth and so well written.


  8. Trackback: Because I Say So………… | My Blog

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