“An Irish Solution to an Irish Problem”


Before I say what I have to say I want to put some contact details and numbers up, and for anyone that because of the topic I am about to addresses finds themselves hurled back into time, a painful time that stripped them of their innocence, that allowed them to become prey for evil and malign bastards – I am so sorry.


One in four http://www.oneinfour.ie/about/

Contact Us

We are an appointment only service.

Call us on 01 6624070, Monday – Friday 9.30 to 5.30pm or

Email us using the contact form below, or email info@oneinfour.ie

Send a letter to us at 2 Holles St, Dublin 2

When you call the office you will speak to someone from reception. They may take contact details and other relevant information, at your discretion. This information is then passed on to the relevant team member who will attempt to call you back within 24-hours, depending on the work load at any given time.

Due to the nature of the work and the heavy demand upon the service, it is not possible for us to offer a drop-in service.

We are currently experiencing difficulties with the contact form on this website. Until these issues are resolved we ask that you contact us at the email address or phone number above. We apologise to anyone who used the contact form recently, and we will be in touch shortly.

Find us

We are at 2 Holles St. You can’t miss the maternity hospital on Holles St, directly opposite its main entrance there is a small lane. We are the corner building on that lane, and the entrance is on the side of the building.


Many of you having been carrying this pain, this anguish for many many years – you have lived your lives in the shadows, and tried to do whatever you could do to numb that terrible pain.

NOTHING that happened to you was your fault – NOTHING – you were a child – an innocent – those people who did this to you – May they Rot in Hell.

Ireland is and has been place that hides and connives with evil – THIS State for many many years threw its innocents to the wolves – wolves dressed in clerical garb. And this all happened in not so distant past.

THIS State allowed vicious evil men and women to abuse innocent children, mostly boys, but also girls, and fucking paid them to do it.

Then as those children finally escaped – those that survived – from this nightmare “childhood” threw them – some of them – literally out onto the streets. When those first brave souls – having survived that nightmare “childhood” somehow found the courage to reveal their nightmares – to stand up and say the truth of what had been done them – what did this State do?

It tried to protect these monsters – it tried to wash its hands of responsibility and complicity in the vileness, the evil, the malignancy that festered in this State for many many years.

No – not way back in the mists of time – not in some faraway time that no one who is living now doesn’t remember. In our lifetimes.

IN LIVING MEMORY. In the 1980’s and 1990’s. When those damaged and wounded souls started to come forward – I was there – I remember the horrors that began to emerge – how these damaged and wounded innocents were treated.

For those who did come forward they found themselves caught in another nightmare – a nightmare where THIS State failed them again.

Then the suicide rates started to climb – men who could no longer live with the pain of what had been done to them – gave up.

There are men living in this State NOW – who wake with nightmares, who try to numb the pain of what was done to them, with alcohol – with anything that help them forget – but they don’t forget.

Feminism isn’t “the cause” of the toxic roots of this State’s most egregious and evil deeds RELIGION is – RELIGION endorsed by, protected by and condoned by THIS STATE.

For decades this State connived with a poisonous and evil malign force – from the foundation of this State between 1916 – 1937 – THIS STATE embraced that toxic, malign and evil force and gave its adherents its innocent children to abuse, to harm, to dispose of, to damage.

Right up until the late 1970’s – for any child who found himself, and in some cases herself trapped in this nightmare – they would have entered adulthood in the 1980’s and 1990’s carrying the scars, the pain, the anguish of what was done to them.

When the first “women’s libbers” made their appearance onto the public stage in this benighted country in the early 1970’s – the vast majority of people in this country – both women and men REJECTED it – why would we need ANOTHER toxic doctrine, when we already had the most vile and evil one?

At first, there was an awareness raised of LEGITIMATE women’s rights issues – and yes – there were LEGITIMATE issues – women DID have unfair and biased laws and policies to contend with – LEGITIMATE issues that needed to be addressed – and in spite of what “feminism” would have you believe – they were – albeit reluctantly and albeit grudgingly – as this happened – the “women’s lib” movement faded away – became more or less irrelevant – except for a few – for a few nasty and indoctrinated women – this wasn’t good enough – so they began “importing” those who would and could make sure that as we struggled to shake off one toxic vile and evil doctrine – another one was ready to takes its place – another one that with determination and a concentrated and focused campaign began to infect and infest our state – WITH yet again, the connivance of THIS State.

What was and is to my mind, looking back at that period a horror show– the 1980’s and 1990’s – was watching two opposing and equally vile and evil doctrines vying for supremacy in the hearts and minds of Irish people – as the horrors of the results of one toxic vile and evil doctrine were revealed – another one waited in the wings to take over.

We exchanged one cult for another – one religion for another – one set of poisonous “beliefs” for another.

We sent our own to be “trained” in the tenets of this new toxic doctrine – to the US – to the UK – to Canada – and they came back – armed with the tools they needed to begin their work – and as with history – a convergence of events created the absolute perfect environment for them and this new toxic doctrine to take root, to spread and to solidify its position as the “new religion”

The Celtic Tiger started to roar – all of a sudden – we had arrived – now the time was ripe for this “new religion” to step up and start manufacturing “grievances” to start demanding “funding” and boy did they ever get it – millions and millions of Euros were poured into “Women’s Programmes” millions and millions of Euros were “up for grabs” – I know – I was there – I worked in adult education – I worked on some of these programmes – and no – my preference was to work with men – because it didn’t take long for me to realise that women – women were – obnoxious – and now they were encouraged to be even MORE obnoxious – more greedy and grasping – all of a sudden – this STATE was awash with “victims of the patriarchy” you know when was the first time I heard that phrase? 1986.

The first time I heard this? “women have been oppressed for centuries by all men”? Around 7/8 years or so later – you who said it? Germaine bloody Greer – you know what my reaction was? Oh fuck off you dozy twat.

Feminism replaced Catholicism in this State as the “religion of choice” FOR women – feminism did what it has always done – it hijacked a LEGITIMATE civil rights movement and imposed its own toxic doctrine ON that movement till there was nothing left of that original and LEGITIMATE movement – it happened gradually – it happened in fits and starts – and it took till the late 1980’s early 1990’s for it to have its claws deeply embedded enough into not just the consciousness of the people of this State, but into every policy area, every government department, every civil society organisation and “charity”.

THAT is the “History of Feminism” in Ireland – THAT is the “back – story” to the CAUSES of so many problems, so many “issues” so many layers of Human Rights abuses IN Ireland.

We are not dealing with the toxic fallout of ONE “religion” we are dealing with the toxic fallout of ironically, two opposing but equally nasty, equally vile, equally malign forces.

For a very brief period in the late 1980’s and early 1990’s there was an overlap – as these two toxic doctrines vied for supremacy – and we all know which one emerged “the winner”

THAT is why – when it comes to “fighting feminism” IN Ireland – it is too simplistic to say that “feminism is the cause of all our problems” it is beyond ignorant and ill-informed to try and impose either an American model or even a UK model of “men’s rights activism” onto this complex and multilayered mess IN Ireland.

Neither of those countries ever allowed RELIGION to dictate – the workings of The State – neither of those countries ever would have allowed its Head of State to be hauled before a bloody bishop – Charles McQuaid – if you’re interested – and TOLD what “Government Policy” was acceptable to that RELIGION, and have that government comply.

Nor would Canada or Australia – THAT is why “fighting feminism” or fighting the toxic influence of feminism IN Ireland – requires that you know your bloody history – you understand and acknowledge the more complex, more multi-layered CAUSES and factors that operate in and have operated IN Ireland.

Feminism isn’t our only problem – our fucking history is our problem – feminism is a factor.



Darkness Into Light – Suicide in Ireland – The True Picture.


Contrary to what amounts to a cynical propaganda attempt by MHRI (Men’s Human Rights Ireland) to portray the issue of suicide in Ireland, and in particular male suicide as a health and social issue that is and has been swept under the carpet in Ireland – the exact reverse is the true picture – this is an issue that does receive attention – by qualified professionals – in particular Dr. Joan Freeman of Pieta House among many many others.

In fact MHRI takes some swipes at Pieta House – a free service in the business of offering help and support to those who are suicidal – because Pieta House doesn’t engage in rhetorical battles with feminists – they support, counsel and help suicidal persons to reach a place where taking your life becomes less of a viable option – MHRI also fails to mention that when one is receiving counselling (as I have) the contents of what you say is CONFIDENTIAL. As are the sessions offered by the many other suicide prevention services available in Ireland – whom they also fail to mention or give credit to, no doubt also expecting those service providers to also reveal the CONFIDENTIAL substance of these counselling sessions so that MHRI can reveal these sometimes painful sessions to the entire world in order to take pot shots at feminists. Nice.

Nor does MHRI even consider for one moment acknowledging or giving credit to the hundreds if not thousands of people who dedicate themselves selflessly, many on a voluntary basis to provide these services – to be a voice at the end of a phone willing to listen for as long as it takes to a human being in pain, for no other reason than to – be there – listening.


“About Pieta House

Pieta House, the centre for the prevention of self-harm or suicide, opened its doors in Lucan in January 2006. Since then, six centres of excellence have followed suit in Ballyfermot, Mungret, Roscrea, Tuam, Bishopstown and most recently Castleisland while we also have an outreach centre in Finglas.

Our founder, Joan Freeman, was a practicing psychologist. She closed down her counselling business almost a decade ago to dedicate her time to helping people who were suicidal. After three years of research, she opened up Pieta House in Lucan, County Dublin. It quickly became a respected and recognised service for those who were in suicidal distress.

With her long experience of counselling people who were self-harming, Joan knew this taboo subject was little discussed and rarely understood. She decided that Pieta House would also help people with this distressing issue.

Pieta House now has a staff of 170 and the demand for our services hasn’t let up. In 2013, nearly 4,000 people came to Pieta House for help and the numbers contacting us are rising all the time.

We’re passionate about our work. As 90% of our income comes from fundraising events, we rely heavily on the support and encouragement of our volunteers and the friends of Pieta.”

In fact AVfM did a feature on Dr. Freeman, at the launch of a campaign specifically addressing the issue of male suicide – the Mind Our Men campaign – launched in early 2013. I have searched through practically everything published on AVfM from November 2012 – October 2013 and cannot locate the video of the news programme featuring Dr. Joan Freeman that was published on AVfM to link too, at this point you can either take my word for it or not – the lack of this link does not negate the substance of and validity of the information I have incorporated into this article which shows that the picture presented by MHRI about suicide in Ireland and how it is addressed is patently false. Please see this link to illustrate not only the work that Dr. Joan Freeman is doing, but how the mainstream media, in the form of our national TV station covers this issue sensitively and seriously.

Not only is the issue of male suicide being addressed, but these dedicated and qualified people have been working in Ireland as you saw above, since 2006 – for eight years – and began this work at a time when suicide was not something you talked about – Dr. Joan Freeman and her colleagues changed that – so to have MHRI swoop in with their Save Our Sons campaign – and insinuate that until now this issue was being ignored is beyond cynical, beyond calculated, and smacks of a propaganda campaign to propel a less than savoury agenda – now who does that remind me of I wonder?

In fact there is another campaign being run, also under the auspices of Pieta House – it is called Darkness into Light which is in its sixth year.

“Speaking at the launch in The Little Museum of Dublin, Joan Freeman, CEO and founder of Pieta House said: “Darkness into Light is an incredible experience and one that people remember for a long, long time. There’s already huge anticipation and with so many new locations involved for 2014 it’s going from strength to strength. We’re tying this year’s event in with our Mind Our Men campaign that aims to reduce male suicide in Ireland, so I want to ask everyone to bring a male friend or family member with them. We’re making a big push this year to get all the men out – it means an early rise but they won’t regret it.”

Darkness Into Light 2013 attracted 40,000 participants in 20 locations around Ireland. With this year’s event taking place in 39 locations, Pieta House is hoping for a near doubling of last year’s turnout.”

Not only that but this year’s event, which takes place on 10th May 2014 will be an international event

London and Sydney will host Darkness Into Light events this year as Pieta House’s flagship fundraiser held in association with Electric Ireland goes international for the first time.”

I have a relatively simple philosophy – I believe in Human Rights – and the only qualification to be vested with Human Rights is to be a Human Being.

Right now all over this planet, men’s human rights are being violated – men are suffering, men and boys are being marginalised, abused, disenfranchised and literally throw onto the rubbish heap of humanity as disposable, as detritus, as worth less than a used tissue.

Anyone who is prepared to stand up and recognise this, and work for and on behalf of men and boys – gets MY vote – anyone who has dedicated themselves unselfishly to work for the betterment of men and boys deserves not just the credit for this, but our support, our recognition and our thanks.

One of those people is Dr. Joan Freeman and her 170 volunteers and colleagues who have spent nigh on 10 years in Ireland changing the public’s perception of not just the issue of suicide in Ireland but of male suicide in Ireland and of raising awareness of this issue.

What MHRI has done – and is doing with this Save Our Sons campaign, in my opinion –is an insult, a calculated cynical insult to all those dedicated people – it is a slap in the face to people who have already “done the groundwork” and it is attempt to use a sensitive and painful issue like suicide to portray themselves as the cavalry charging in to the rescue – that until MHRI came on the scene – nothing was being done – had they thrown their support behind either Pieta House, the Mind Our Men campaign, or the Darkness into Light campaign or even had the fucking decency to mention them – I might not be writing this article now.

But they didn’t – did they – in fact their inaugural article on this subject was so misrepresentative, so completely false that I did take them to task on this blog – and overnight – the article changed – all of a sudden there was a grudging mention of Pieta House.

I took a look at the MHRI site and NONE of the above mentioned campaigns gets a mention – NOT ONE – in favour of peddling a misrepresented picture of how suicide, in particular male suicide is addressed and treated in Ireland.

I don’t personally give a rat’s arse if they call themselves Men’s Rights Activists or not –I’ve been “advised” that any dissension “within the ranks” of the MHRM, either worldwide or here in Ireland would “be bad for Men’s Human Rights in Ireland. That we need to show a “united front”

Really? Is that so? Again, what does that remind me of? What other “movement” “closes ranks” and protects its arseholes, or its most vicious and frankly disturbed members – because – the movement must be protected, at all costs?

I’ll give you a clue – it begins with the letter “F”.

Well fuck that – I don’t give a flying rat’s arse how “high profile” how “influential” or how many “followers” or “high profile supporters” you have – who backs you or doesn’t back you. If you are a wanker, an arsehole, or if you play by the same rulebook that feminists do then – fuck you – you are full of shit, and I have zero tolerance for bullshit, whether it emanates from feminists or MRA/MHRA’s.

THAT’S what will be “bad for Men’s Human Rights in Ireland and worldwide – turning a blind eye to blatant bullshit and misinformation.

And this “campaign” that MHRI is running is bullshit – its putative leader John Gormley is full of shit – yeah you were wondering when I’d get to him. I did contemplate just “letting this go” on the basis that “they can do their thing and I’ll do mine” but – the Men’s Human Rights Movement has enough external enemies working to discredit it, working to find even the slightest little flaw or mistake to pounce on and use to discredit the entire movement – to allow this bullshit to go unchallenged would be to give tacit approval to the same underhanded techniques and sleazy tactics that the feminists use.

I would rather raise the ire and probably hatred of my fellow MHRA’s and be branded a “traitor” or whatever other choice term will now be hurled at me that just stand by silently while this shit is peddled in the name of the MHRM. Wouldn’t be the first time that a supposed fellow MRA has vented his spleen at and about me.

I read that stupid article on AVfM the “boo hoo facebook banned me again” and then the litany of whines about how facebook has been “picking on” poor John!

My first reaction? – big fucking deal – facebook banned you, though I did note you didn’t actually present any evidence of that – nor did you present any evidence of all these “threats” you had received – again – who the fuck does that remind me of?

What I read – was an egotistical, self aggrandising  UNQUALIFIED arsehole trying to portray himself as a valiant messiah bravely battling the forces of evil – all by his little lonesome.

But the most cynical if not downright ironic aspect of this putative messiah’s self aggrandising “mission” is this – he states that:

“We are hitting the streets again shortly more than likely next weekend (supposed to be this weekend but we had to change it at last minute)”

Right above a huge graphic of this cynical Save Our Sons campaign launched by MHRI – without any irony or for that matter acknowledgment of what is taking place the following weekend, not just in Ireland, but in Sydney Australia, and London England.

“On 10th May 2014 will be an international event

London and Sydney will host Darkness Into Light events this year as Pieta House’s flagship fundraiser held in association with Electric Ireland goes international for the first time.”

Nor did AVfM check its own back catalogue that shows an article/video lauding the efforts of Dr. Joan Freeman when she launched the Mind Our Men campaign in Ireland last year, in favour of giving an arsehole the attention, the platform for his own personal little ego trip

You simply took the word of a self aggrandising idiot portraying himself as the new messiah of Men’s Human Rights in Ireland – and on the back of probably the most emotive subject there is – men taking their own lives – in a country that doesn’t give a shit about them – and didn’t, till MHRI came along to save the day. Except on THIS subject – that is a lie.

There are huge Men’s Rights issues in Ireland, and it is those issues that drive these men to take their lives – but is untrue and patently false to claim that “no-one cares” they may not fully understand the dynamics of social/legal and cultural forces that drive these men to do this – but they bloody care – and have been caring for a long time, and working to address and support these men – MHRI has done these dedicated men and women a huge disservice – and what they are engaged in is nothing short of propaganda.

That’s what I saw – that’s what I see – will a shitload of both Irish and non Irish MRA’s including no doubt all the members of MHRI (whoever they are) plus a few more seriously disturbed nutjobs – one of whom was recently banned from AVfM, now launch a big hate campaign against me? Probably.

Do I care? Nope – bring it on. Because unlike MHRI – I don’t subscribe to the view that the end justifies the means – nor do I subscribe to the view that “well misrepresenting facts, disseminating false data or false perceptions works for feminism – so it will work for us”

Do you know what makes Men’s Human Rights Activists different from feminists, what sets the Men’s Human Rights Movement apart from feminism?

We tell the truth, the plain unvarnished truth, we don’t dress it up, we don’t tell half the truth, and cross our fingers on the other half, we don’t present a “version” of the truth” if it suits our purpose

We don’t lie by commission or omission, or fail to show ALL aspects, ALL data, ALL current information in case it diffuses the power or impact of what it is we want to convey.

We tell the truth – even if it shows us in a bad light – we don’t hide behind fudged statistics, manipulated data, we don’t create and manufacture false perceptions – we’re NOT fucking feminists.

We tell the truth.

I want no part, no association with MHRI – I publically condemn them, I publically call bullshit. You want to do some good? You want to advance Men’s Human Rights in Ireland?

Clean up your fucking act!

You want Men’s Human Rights abuses to be taken seriously, not just at a social and cultural level but at a political level, both in Ireland and in the wider world?

Clean up your fucking act!

And have the fucking decency to acknowledge and give due respect to people who have been working their arse’s off FOR Irish men and boys – before you lot were out of short pants and getting your feelings hurt by facebook. Not just in relation to this most sensitive of subjects but all Men’s Rights issues in Ireland – quietly, behind the scenes, for years, with no support, no acknowledgement, and no need to go onto the premier Men’s rights site and whine about getting banned from facebook.

I’ve been told that writing this article and posting it will “damage the MHRM” and my response is this:

Do you think for one minute that the 40,000 people who supported Pieta House’s THREE campaigns last year, or the over 170 people who have worked on a mostly voluntary basis for the last 8 – 10 years – along with the hundreds if not thousands of people who have benefitted from the services provided for FREE by Pieta House DESERVE to be shit all over by arseholes like John Gormley and MHRI – that they DESERVE to be bullshitted out of existence, and have those bullshitters PROTECTED – because it’s bad for the MHRM? People who literally in some cases owe their lives to those dedicated people who work for Pieta House? are to be dismissed and those who did support and help them dismissed?

“Peter, who lost his 16-year-old son Simon to suicide in 2003, went on to set up support organisation SOSAD (Save Our Sons And Daughters).

He says: “I think the reason men are more likely to die by suicide has more to do with the thoughts, such as the ones I had.”

I don’t support liars, I don’t shield bullshitters and I don’t stand by and allow anyone – feminist or MRA to dismiss and misrepresent or ignore the work of people who have dedicated themselves, worked tirelessly and selflessly for the benefit of others including Irish men and boys for years, because it doesn’t suit the agenda of the “movers and shakers” in the fucking MHRM.

I’m NOT a feminist – never have been, never will be – so no I won’t “close ranks” I won’t “turn a blind eye” we either fight this battle with honour, with integrity and with truth or we might as well join the feminist movement – we clean house – we stand by principles NOT personalities – or we give up.

We acknowledge and give credit to those who have worked and are working, who have dedicated and are dedicating themselves in particular to this most sensitive and emotive of all issues – and we do NOT send out a message to men and boys that there is no hope, that no-one cares, that that there is no help, no support, and leave them in more despair than before they logged onto a supposed men’s rights site – to be told this – that until MHRI came there was and is nothing – this is unacceptable – it is cynical and it is bullshit – peddled to portray MHRI as the only source of help – THAT is a lie.

Edge Of The Cliff


For those who have contemplated taking their own lives, they will recognise that feeling – of standing on the edge of a cliff – with nothing but darkness behind you, and darkness all around you, and darkness in front of you – one more step – into that darkness and you hope the pain stops.

I know that feeling – five maybe six weeks ago I was standing on the edge of that cliff – it wasn’t the first time and probably won’t be the last – right now I have stepped back – slightly – from the edge of that cliff – but I can still see it from where I stand – metaphorically speaking – it beckons.

Many people who have never experienced this find it hard to understand, they will say things like “you have so much to live for” or “this is not the answer” when in fact, your reality tells you that what you have to live for isn’t enough to make the pain stop, and for you the choice is to either live with the pain or do the only thing you believe will make that pain stop.

You are in the world but not part of the world, breathing is a burden, being awake or being asleep doesn’t change anything – you wish you would just stop breathing, that you would fall asleep and never wake up. All around you the rest of world feels like you are viewing it through dark glass, you feel hollow inside – not just emotionally but physically.

Your emotions don’t feel like they belong to you, yes you still feel anger, even sometimes a form of “normal” someone says something funny and you laugh – but – none of them really feel like part of you – you watch yourself from the outside – playing “normal” or whatever is “normal” for you – it isn’t an act – more like the actions of a person playing the role of the person you used to be.

And all around you the darkness gathers – the edge of the cliff gets closer ond closer, you move towards it and it moves towards you.

Every person who stands on the edge of that cliff does so for different reasons, and each person’s reasons make sense only to them – it all depends on what it is you value – what it is you hold dear – and no two people value or hold dear the same things, in the same way or with the same intensity – but there is one thing that all people who stand on the edge of that cliff have in common – they don’t value or hold dear themselves.

They believe that it is them, they are the problem, their mere existence is what causes and creates “problems” for others – and inevitably – it is the actions and behaviours of those “others” that reinforces that belief.

But when I say “others” I don’t just mean random strangers who take umbrage with you – or persons unknown to you who try to strip away and dismantle that shield, that barrier that, emotional and psychological roadblock that stands between you and the edge of the cliff.

As human beings, we invest only certain people with that power, we give only certain people that power, we make ourselves vulnerable to only certain people, we hand only them the weapons they need to dismantle that roadblock. We do this gladly because we believe they will never use them. Against us.

In my case, it was my children, and for many men, it is also their children, all psychological and emotional barriers come down, you make yourself vulnerable, and you do it gladly, for your children.

When your children are born, a connection is made that defies description, a bond is created that exists on more than just an emotional plane – it transcends all that – it is comprised of a substance that if severed actually feels like your connection to life itself has been severed. This is not a female or male bond – it is a human bond.

My children launched a campaign against me about five or six weeks ago – a vicious hate campaign – along with their father and his girlfriend and to the best of my knowledge a number of other “anonymous” persons – I have been alienated from them for about six years – and yes I know it is unusual for a mother to be alienated from her children, it is almost always fathers who find themselves cast into that outer darkness, vilified and literally cast into the role of the “sum of all evil” every bad thing that has ever happened in the world is laid at your door – every cross word, mistake and flaw is magnified out of all proportion – till even you start to see yourself as that monster they have created.

What I do also know that as soon as I have posted this they will start again – they will sneer, they will up the ante – they will snigger and they will call me a liar, in fact all sorts of names – that or they will post comments and send me emails urging me to “just do it” “we will dance on your grave” they will demand proof – and the only “proof” that would satisfy them would be my death. Should I continue to live they will cite that as proof that I “was just looking for attention”

But, it is when you finally lose hope – as I did – that you become empty, hollow, when the darkness envelopes you – and when you find yourself standing on the edge of that cliff – because you see – you realise – it is your existence – the fact that you are breathing, that you are here – that is causing those who you love the most to be consumed with hatred for you – you can feel it – it actually feels like you are choking on it.

Many men find themselves in that position – not seeing your children is one thing – having those who have been instrumental in creating this is another thing – but having those children – embrace and then hurl back at you the hatred, the venom, the anger and the vileness that is Parental Alienation is when you know – when you know that – there is nothing more to live for.

That’s why you stand on the edge of that cliff – because this is a hatred that you cannot brush off, cannot shrug at, cannot ignore or live with – this is a hatred that reaches into your very soul and rips you apart – tears down that barrier as if it was tissue paper – this is a hatred that finds you standing on the edge of that cliff – because there is no other place left for you to go.

I am still here because of two people – they literally saved my life – or – have allowed me to step back from that cliff edge – yes I can still see it – yes it is still there – just over the horizon – is the pain gone? No – pain like that doesn’t just go away – its sleeps – it curls up inside you – and every now and then it stretches and unfolds its claws – every now and then it expands and envelopes you – you start learning to share your life with it – you accommodate it – you make room for it – and you hope and pray that you and it can co-exist. Because you have no choice – because you see – that kind of pain holds all the cards.

You don’t control it – its controls you – it lies in wait – and strikes when the mood takes it – there are people who understand this, who know that right now, you simply do not have the emotional or psychological tools to excise this pain – to rebuild that barrier – to step far enough away so that it becomes unimportant – until it is so far away and you have rebuilt a strong enough barrier so that it would take a lot (you hope) to tear it down again.

They understand your reality, and accept it – they don’t try to impose their reality on to you and expect you to embrace it – they teach you to live within your reality. Because as human beings that is all we can ever do – live within our own realities and learn slowly and gradually to accommodate all aspects of that reality, including learning to live with a part of yourself missing and with the pain that this brings.

You don’t heal – you start learning to live with wounds.

I wrote an article excoriating MHRI (Men’s Human Rights Ireland) and calling bullshit on their cynical Save Our Sons, and dissemination of a completely false picture of suicide and suicide prevention services in Ireland (which I will publish later) campaign because – suicide is not a game – it is not a PR opportunity – it isn’t a political or rhetorical weapon to beat feminists over the head with – the fact that a human being has taken their own life successfully is not a matter of numbers, of statistics – of comparisons.

The issue isn’t numbers, the issue is REASONS. Suicide is not an agenda – it is a human tragedy. Human life is and can be fragile – we have all at some time or another stood either at the edge of that cliff or close to it – suicide prevention is more than just a skill one can learn, it requires a level of dedication and humanity that very few possess or have a gift for – those people who do are – worthy of our thanks, and our acknowledgment – which they rarely if ever ask for or expect. They do their work quietly, without fanfare, they do it without a thought for themselves – they do it because they must do it.

The issue is that a human being was in such despair, such pain and anguish that for that human being the only escape was in death – THAT is the issue – does it really matter if that human being is male or female – or are we now in the business of applying different standards of value to human beings, within the MHRM – only this time the other way round – more men take their lives than women – more boys than girls – does THAT really matter when one way or another – a human being lies dead at his/her own hand? We address the REASONS – we address the causes – and pay due respect – give due credit to all those selfless and dedicated people who wait on the end of a phone line – to try a save a human life. Any life.

The reality of people standing on the edge of that cliff – with only one more step to go – is quite another thing – and is an issue of their reality – of the life they are forced to live – of the limitations imposed upon them by external forces, by the actions or inactions of others – by the creation of a reality that is made up of many factors – by the deliberate and focused enveloping of a darkness of the soul – and for many many men and boys it is mostly women who create and concoct and manufacture that darkness.

But, in spite of the greater numbers of men and boys who find themselves in that darkness – standing on the edge of a cliff – women and girls too find themselves there – what matters is NOT that the person standing in the darkness, on the edge of that cliff is male or female – not at that point – what matters is that a human being is standing there – a human being that see’s and feels nothing but pain – nothing but darkness.

That darkness is made up of hatred, of vitriol, of revenge, of a desire to inflict pain, of lies, of distortions and of malice – and it is endorsed, encouraged and applauded by those who refuse to acknowledge its existence, who refuse to open their eyes and see – because no-one wants to believe that human beings would do that to one another. What propels a human being on that journey to the edge of that cliff is where we must focus our attention – is what we must address – and it is invariably the actions or inactions of other human beings that fuel this journey. Do the numbers matter? Not really. The REASONS matter.

But no-one wants their illusions shattered, their false perceptions corrected, their comfortable lies and myths exposed – to do so would mean acknowledging their complicity – recognising the part they have played – sometimes unconsciously, carelessly, human beings do not want to accept that they have within themselves the capacity to inflict such pain, such grief, such soul destroying injury on another human being – because that would mean they would have to look at a part of themselves that is dark, is malign, is vicious, is hateful.

You don’t heal – you learn to live with wounds – wounds that have been inflicted by those who you believed were incapable of such things – that is why you stand on the edge of that cliff.

I know this is just one set of circumstances that can propel a person to stand on the edge of that cliff – there are others – many others – but the motivating factor is loss – loss of something precious to you – of something you value – of something that gives your life meaning.

The choice facing those who stand there – looking into that darkness isn’t whether you will or you won’t take your own life – the choice is – can you or can you not live with the pain of what you have lost

Can you share that life with that pain – is there enough for you to hang onto to – will you be able to wake up the next day, and the next day, and the next day – knowing that the pain, the loss is waiting for you – will be your constant companion?

It isn’t about wanting to die – it is about being afraid to live.


To those who are now or are edging closer to the edge of that cliff – please – I beg you – pause – just for a moment and make one last call – take out your mobile phone – and just make one last call. It will only take a minute.

I know it doesn’t matter to you – I know you can’t see the point – and I know you think it’s a waste of time – but there are some people who want you to waste their time – who have nothing else to do right now except wait for you to call.

That’s all they do – wait for you to call – one last call – what can it matter – you can always hang up – but just make that one last call – please. A few more minutes is all it will take.

Put these numbers into your phone now – even if you know you will never phone them – just put them in – even just one into your phone now. Don’t leave without saying goodbye to just one person, without hearing for the last time the voice of another human being.

Samaritans116 123


1Life 1 800 24 7 100


TextHELP – 51 444

Console1 800 247 247



If you believe that you are nearing closer to the edge of that cliff then, contact;


SOSAD (Save Our Sons and Daughters)


Office Locations


6A Parnell Street, Carrickmacross, Co Monaghan

24 hour emergency: 042-9668992, 086-0459168 Email: carrick@sosadireland.ie



3 Tower Hamlets (beside Garda station) Farnham Street, Cavan, Co. Cavan
24 hour emergency: 049 4326339, 0834339090 Email: cavan@sosadireland.ie


30 Magdalene St, Drogheda, Co. Louth
24 hour emergency: 041 9848754 Email: info@sosadireland.ie


31 Williamson’s place, Dundalk, Co. Louth
24 hour emergency: 042 9327311, 083 4244182 Email: dundalk@sosadireland.ie


4 O’Growney Tce, Navan, Co. Meath
24 hour emergency: 046 9031855, 083 3712622 Email: navan@sosadireland.ie


Bow House, O Moore St, Tullamore, Co. Offaly
24 hour emergency: 057 9346704, 083 1711238 Email: tullamore@sosadireland.ie


Or: Find your nearest Pieta House:


Pieta House Ballyfermot

Mount La Salle Ballyfermot Road Dublin 10 Phone: 01-6200020 Centre Manager: Noeleen Devlin

Opening Hours: Monday to Friday: 10am to 8pm Saturday: 10am to 3pm


Pieta House Cork

Highfield Lawn, Model Farm Road Bishopstown Cork Phone: 021-4341400 Centre Manager: Sylvia O’Driscoll Wong

Opening Hours: Monday, Tuesday, Thursday & Friday: 9am to 5pm Wednesday: 9am to 8pm Saturday: 10am to 2pm


Pieta House Finglas

47 Mellowes Court Finglas Dublin 11 Phone: 01-8648899 Centre Manager: Linda Murray

Opening Hours: Monday: 5.30pm to 9.30pm Tuesday: 10am to 2pm Wednesday: 2pm to 6pm Thursday: 9am to 2pm Saturday: 10am to 2pm


Pieta House Kerry

Crageens Castleisland County Kerry Phone: 066-7163660 Centre Manager: To be confirmed

Opening Hours: Monday to Friday: 9am to 5pm


Pieta House Lucan

Lucan Road Lucan Dublin Phone: 01-6010000 Centre Manager: Avril Mansouri

Opening Hours: Monday to Friday: 9am to 9pm Saturday and Sunday: 10am to 2pm


Pieta House Midwest

Ardaulin Mungret Limerick Phone: 061-484444 Centre Manager: Nora Conway

Opening Hours: Monday, Wednesday & Friday: 9am to 5pm Tuesday and Thursday: 9am to 8pm Saturday: 10am to 2pm


Pieta House Roscrea

The Glebe, Ballyhall, Roscrea Tipperary Phone: 0505-22568 Centre Manager: Martina Leamy

Opening Hours: Monday to Saturday: 10am to 2pm Wednesday: 4pm to 8pm


Pieta House Tallaght

Mount La Salle Ballyfermot Road Dublin 10 Phone: 087-9368633 Centre Manager: Enda Dowling

Opening Hours: Monday to Friday: 9am to 6pm Saturday: 10am to 2pm


Pieta House West

Bishop Street Tuam Galway Phone: 093-25586 Centre Manager: To be confirmed

Opening Hours: Monday, Tuesday, Thursday & Friday: 9am to 5pm Wednesday: 9am to 8pm Saturday: 10am to 2pm

For additional information on our services email:mary@pieta.ie




Karrie Andlerson Nominates herself for a S.W.O.T.M.A – and wins by 50 lengths!


I get all kinds of comments, some are intriguing, some are insightful, and some are downright nasty, some are so bizarre that they go into the “you couldn’t make this shit up” category – which until now has just been a fancy way of saying “delete”

But, now I am impelled to actually create a new category – called – of course “you couldn’t make this shit up” fortuitously this new category aligns very nicely with the recipient of this month’s S.W.O.T.M.AStupid Woman Of The Month Award.

A recipient so deserving and so head and shoulders above many other worthy recipients that she stands out – if only she would – stand out – in the freezing cold of the most Northern part of Canada.

Because indeed, this month’s recipient hails from the land of the maple leaf – the land that produces the most toxic and malign acolytes of feminism, and possibly the stupidest – it really is a toss up.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and anything in between – I give you “Karrie


She posted this comment on the Personal Statement blog piece – right now it is sitting in moderation – and just so you know Karrie, I won’t be approving your deliciously stupid comment, but, so that you may have the benefit of being “in the spotlight” so to speak – and of course so that all those nasty misogynistic MHRA’s can…………what is the word I’m looking for……………………………educate you, I am posting it in full here.  🙂

Here is Karrie’s comment – will let you all take in its full panoramic glory before I critique it. Am having a bit of a problem controlling my own urge to burst out laughing


“I hate to tell you the truth but Men’s Rights is a hate speech blog. I am a Toronto feminist and I am not afraid of misogynist hate preachers.

Men have been oppressing civilization for centuries and fortunately for us, Gloria Steinem, Betty Friedan, Betty Azbug and other brave women have endlessly fought against the patriarchy and allowed us to have equal rights.

Your posts are sexist, but I dont lose sleep over it, because most Mens Rights activists are afraid of independent women.

For a 29 year old female, I have more accomplishments, earnings and I am more beautiful and sexier than any oppressed housewife. Men’s Rights activists loathe beautiful and independent women who have a bank account which shows I DON’T NEED A MAN IN MY life.”


Well now, is THAT a classic or is THAT a classic? Boys and girls, just as soon as you all can stop laughing enough to post a reply to Karrie, be……………………actually, just be yourselves.

Shall we begin?


“I hate to tell you the truth but Men’s Rights is a hate speech blog. I am a Toronto feminist and I am not afraid of misogynist hate preachers.”


There was a bit of discussion about whether or not the delightfully moronic Karrie was referring to this blog, Men’s Rights Ireland, any other blog or possibly AVfM with regard to Men’s Rights, after all, there are literally thousands of “Men’s Rights” blogs – so I’m just going to assume that Karrie is a bit confused, and more than a tad uniformed as to the full extent and global nature of the Men’s Human Rights Movement. I have searched and searched – oh alright – I didn’t – but Karrie appears to believe that simply announcing something is “hate speech” makes it so – now as you can see she doesn’t actually specify, what aspect of, well anything is hateful – other than it is a “blog”

Judging from her proud claim to be, not just “a feminist” but a “Toronto feminist” one can only surmise that a “Toronto feminist” is an extra special kind of feminist (as if we didn’t already know that) I’m wondering though – would all those feminists NOT from Toronto be a bit miffed, perhaps a bit peeved at Karrie, what with her putting Toronto feminists in a class above all other feminists?

Shall we just let them fight it out amongst themselves? I think that’s best.

As for her claim that she’s “not afraid of misogynistic hate preachers” well now Karrie – that’s just marvellous, and well done you! Did you know that what you just said would read as “woman hating hate preachers” – makes the second “hate” kind of redundant, and throwing in the “preachers” bit – inspired – almost evangelical – if somewhat – bizarre.

Next up:


“Men have been oppressing civilization for centuries and fortunately for us, Gloria Steinem, Betty Friedan, Betty Azbug and other brave women have endlessly fought against the patriarchy and allowed us to have equal rights.”


Men apparently have now moved up a notch in the oppression stakes, now it isn’t just women, its entire civilisations – for centuries no less.

Crikey Karrie – whole civilisations – tell you what – will throw out a few and you pick one – Byzantine, Greek, Mayan, Aztec, Mongol, Babylonian – am sure my colleagues in the MHRM can come up with a few more.

We will have to ask you to be a bit more specific regarding which centuries you are referring to – or do you mean just any old century?

Of all the most easily and effortlessly discredited feminists “pioneers” to pick – you chose two of the easiest – so easy in fact am not going to even bother – as for “Betty Azbug” its Bella Abzug ya nincompoop – sheesh – how absolutely embarrassing for you – having a NON feminist school you on feminism! I feel your pain.

Here – start educating yourself about your own toxic ideology, just click on the link – sigh – the things I do for feminists. Yeah – its Wikipedia, couldn’t be arsed doing your homework for you.


By the way – I noted your little slip-up – “and allowed us to have equal rights” hmmm, so on behalf of all feminists and “Toronto feminists” in particular, you’ve just stated that you have “equal rights” begs the question then doesn’t it?

What exactly is the point of……………people like you?


“Your posts are sexist, but I dont lose sleep over it, because most Mens Rights activists are afraid of independent women.”


Sexist? Hmmm, again – a bit more specific and I might consider addressing what are obviously just random thoughts that tumble out of your mouth, or in this case keyboard without actually making any connection with what little grey matter you seem to possess. Delighted you enjoy a good night’s sleep – me too! We could be twins  🙂

I’m going to take a wild guess, and say you think I’m male? Ergo – afraid of “independent women” along with all the usual twattish pointless shaming tactics used against men by…well….twats like you.

Alas, dear Karrie, am female, and…………independent……..and NOT A FEMINIST!


“For a 29 year old female, I have more accomplishments, earnings and I am more beautiful and sexier than any oppressed housewife. Men’s Rights activists loathe beautiful and independent women who have a bank account which shows I DON’T NEED A MAN IN MY life.”


THAT is my absolute favourite bit – seriously – it is delusion and narcissism and stupidity tied up with a big bow and decorated with sprinkles.

Well now, Karrie, in order for me and the wider MHRM to test the validity of your claims, we are going to require more than just your word that you are “more beautiful and sexier” first and foremost – and with regard to being more so than “any oppressed housewife” you will have to produce an actual “oppressed housewife” – so that we can compare. A photo would be just the ticket.

I gather then, that “oppressed housewives” are lower down the totem pole for Toronto feminists than “Men’s rights activists – so you and your fellow “Toronto feminists” won’t be “liberating” them any time soon – what with them being as ugly as sin, and as sexy as as roadkill, compared to you that is.

Note to any “oppressed housewives” feel free to join the MHRM – we welcome all and sundry, there are no qualifications other than one – all you have to be is a human being who believes in Human Rights.

I am absolutely in awe at the insanely moronic combination of factors that Karrie believes she has, which raise the ire of “Men’s Rights “Activists – not just being “beautiful” not even just being “beautiful and independent” but – being “beautiful and independent” and “having a bank account”

I think we need to pause here for a moment and reflect on that – the idea that “having a bank account” in the 21st century – is an achievement”

Perhaps a little interlude might help us all to truly appreciate the sheer depth, breadth and density of Karrie’s stupidity.


So, we all chilled out now?

Karrie is indeed “A Whole Lotta Woman” in fact she is so much woman that she declares – seemingly as a result of having a bank account in the 21st Century that this shows “I DONT NEED A MAN”

 Karrie, right now I am almost being knocked over by the collective energy of millions of men all over the world heaving in concert the biggest sigh of relief – EVER!


All the while thinking –thank fuck for that!


Edit: Public Service Announcement


It occurs to me to issue a bit of a warning to any of my male MHRA colleagues in the Toronto area – Karrie states she is 29 years old – which means her eggs are to put it bluntly starting to go off – and it is when certain types of females start waking up to a very loud tick tocking noise – now while Karrie is the proud possessor of a “bank account” she is also at “that age” where being the only “depositor” into said marvel of modern society – a bank account – might be becoming just a tad – tedious – a mite – irritating – for her – so – might I suggest to all my male colleagues in and around the Toronto area to:

RUN! EMIGRATE! FLEE! – well that or keep an extra beady eye out for a “more beautiful and sexier than an oppressed housewife” female waving a bank statement

Personal Statement.

My apologies for not responding to most of the emails sent to mensrightsireland@gmail.com or to comments on this blog or on my other blog over the last two weeks

I am posting this on both:

http://www.mensrightsarehumanrights.wordpress.com – Not A Feminist


http://www.mensrightsireland.wordpress.com – Men’s Rights Ireland


I have been dealing with a personal crisis, the details of which I personally am not ready to share, though others might, or perhaps already have, in or on some other media. I have no doubt that when they see this they will be more than delighted to, as one of them has already stated she “has stories to tell” at this point I neither care, nor am concerned about whatever “stories” any of them tell.

The event in Maynooth on 3rd of May has to be rescheduled, till either the 7th June 2014 or the 14th of June 2014, but it IS going ahead and I will confirm those details by the end of this week.

I will endeavour to respond to the many emails I have received on mensrightsireland@gmail.com over today and tomorrow and to the comments posted on this blog and my other one, and I offer my sincere apologies for simply just disappearing and failing to respond to both emails and most of the comments posted in the last two weeks. I only came back “online” a few days ago – for brief periods.

With my best wishes to all those engaged in the Men’s Human Rights Movement and to the many people who have posted such interesting and thought provoking comments on not just this blog, but my other one, and to all men and boys and fathers everywhere who are struggling with living in this world as it is today.


Anne Marie Dempsey/Anja Eriud