Never Ask A Question……….

 

One of the “Golden Rules” if you like of questioning/cross-examining a witness in a trial situation is this “never ask a question you don’t already know the answer to” the reason is obvious and speaks directly to the purpose of examining said witness – to confirm KNOWN and provable FACTS or in the alternative to dispute and disprove an alleged fact.

The object of the exercise is not to “have a chat” and figure out what this witness may or may not know and/or say but to CONFIRM or dispute something FACTUAL and provable.

Standing up to question someone and ASSUMING you already know that this witness will either confirm/dispute whatever it is you wish them to confirm or dispute is beyond stupid and arrogant. In other words, assuming this witness/person is going to give you the answer you require to PROVE your case – or at least advance your case in the right direction.

There is one group/class of persons who represent the very essence of stupid and arrogant – feminists and their acolytes/hangers on/enablers/useful idiots – pick one (or all)

No-where is this stupidity and arrogance more prevalent than when feminists et al seek to PROVE the validity of their oft and tediously articulated diktats on……..everything to do with men, women, society, culture etc – in particular what and how people THINK – in other words the mantra of feminist speak could best be summarized by this “when we want your opinion, WE will give it to you” in essence, feminists claim to KNOW not only what people think and feel about everything, but what they SHOULD think and feel about everything – so in Australia they conducted a survey on “attitudes’ very particular ‘attitudes’ towards ‘violence against women’

Now, please bear in mind that feminism has been “educating’ (brainwashing)the world on what the right ‘attitudes’ towards this topic should be – ie. The feminist perspective – all men are bad, all women are victims – ergo it follows, from the feminist perspective, that this ‘survey’ will reflect the right ‘attitude(s)’ – in other words, the persons asked to respond to this survey will give them the RIGHT answers and endorse, validate and confirm what feminists have been indoctrinating you, me, us, the whole world with for decades, or at least striving to do so.

Alas and alack – it backfired on them – spectacularly, and notwithstanding that the persons “questioned” with a view to confirming the correct feminist paradigm failed to give the right answers – the reaction to these WRONG answers is even more illuminating with regard to the global feminist project to brainwash the entire global population into the correct feminist mindset.

So, what are we talking about?

This:

2017 National Community Attitudes towards Violence against Women Survey (NCAS)

http://apo.org.au/system/files/207066/apo-nid207066-1057761.pdf

The mainstream media reaction to the above, in the form of an article by Laura House for The Daily Mail.

2017 National Community Attitudes towards Violence against Women Survey (NCAS) By LAURA HOUSE FOR DAILY MAIL AUSTRALIA

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-6445405/The-harmful-disturbing-views-women-domestic-violence.html

garnered this response.

“A new study has uncovered a number of disturbing and harmful views many Australian men and women still have towards domestic violence and rape.

The National Community Attitudes towards Violence against Women Survey, led by Australia’s National Research Organisation for Women’s Safety was released on Friday.

The survey was taken by 17,500 Australians aged 16 and over and highlighted that many hold outdated views despite wide-spread education campaigns and greater community awareness.  

Some of the most worrying findings were related to blame, with many Australians continuing to shift the blame away from men in violent and dangerous situations.

The survey found 21% of men and women believed that ‘sometimes a woman can make a man so angry he hits her when he didn’t mean to’ and one in three thinks ‘rape results from men not being able to control their need for sex’.”

Emphasis added

Now, in the interests of full disclosure I admit I haven’t read this 182 page Report, other than focusing on this:

“Concerning results

  • There continues to be a decline in the number of Australians who understand that men are more likely than women to perpetrate domestic violence.

  • A concerning proportion of Australians believe that gender inequality is exaggerated or no longer a problem.

  • Among attitudes condoning violence against women, the highest level of agreement was with the idea that women use claims of violence to gain tactical advantage in their relationships with men.

  • 1 in 5 Australians would not be bothered if a male friend told a sexist joke about women.”

Emphasis added

Taken From a 20 Page Summary of the above mentioned 182 page Report, my main interest at the moment is two-fold, commenting on the reaction to the results from” feminists” and being heartened BY the results – a small but significant percentage of persons have REJECTED “feminist” indoctrination/propaganda/lies/and bullshit.

Summary here:

Are we there yet? Australians’ attitudes towards violence against women & gender equality

https://ncas.anrows.org.au/findings/4-attitudes-to-violence-against-women/

What appears to be causing problems for feminists and their acolytes is something they have no control over – WHAT people believe and WHO they believe, or in this instance DISBELIEVE – and that the rate of disbelief is growing, notwithstanding the almost ongoing relentless campaign of misinformation being peddled by feminists.

For example – taken from the summary of the main survey results are these statements, headed “What Australians Believe”

“WHAT AUSTRALIANS BELIEVE

While most Australians (64%) recognise that mainly men, or men more often, commit acts of domestic violence, the percentage who recognize this has dropped 7 percentage points since the 2013 NCAS. This decline has been occurring since 1995, when 86% recognised this fact. In 2009, recognition was down to 74% and it dropped a further 3 percentage points to 71% in 2013.”

“Less than half (49%) of Australians recognise that levels of fear from domestic violence are worse for women, and there has been no statistically significant change since 2013. This is a 6 percentage point decline from 2009, when 55% of respondents recognised that levels of fear are worse for women.”

Under the heading “Attitudes that support violence against women” is this little gem:

“Mistrust women’s reports of violence by suggesting women lie about or exaggerate reports of violence in order to  ‘get back at’ men or gain tactical advantage in their relationships with men. Such attitudes have been referred to as part of a ‘backlash’.”

Emphasis added

The results of this report have caused feminists to describe those results as “worrying” and “concerning” and from Laura House in The Daily Mail as “disturbing and harmful views”

Hmmmmm, except these are not “views” not according to this survey – these “attitudes” are based on WHAT and WHO people BELIEVE.

Let’s go back to the analogy of a court room situation, shall we?

One side presents their case, submits their evidence, presents and questions witnesses, some of them “expert” witnesses whose function is to validate and endorse a particular piece of “evidence” the other side does the same.

In the context of what we are discussing here -almost ALL the “evidence” to support the all domestic violence is committed by men upon women “side” of the domestic violence “case” has been presented by feminists, endorsed by feminist “experts” and received a substantial amount of attention and funding to support that “view”

In other words massive amounts of money has been spent preparing this “evidence” paying these “expert” witness and presenting this “case”

Here’s where feminists completely lose the plot – after you’ve presented your “evidence” YOU don’t get to decide WHO the jury believes – especially if the other side has been able to present compelling evidence DISPUTING your “view” of what the “evidence” shows – or if YOUR evidence IS SHOWN TO BE FLAWED.

In a nutshell this is more or less what has happened here – in this “survey” the recipients/hearers/readers of the “evidence” presented by feminists over the last several decades of the “view” that all domestic violence is committed by men against and upon women, formed a BELIEF and rendered a verdict. And the verdict?

THE JURY DON’T BELIEVE YOU. THEY DON’T BELIEVE YOUR “EVIDENCE”.

From a cultural perspective – the feminists are beginning to lose control of the narrative – look at the reaction – according to this Report, more and more people are NOT believing what feminists are peddling – and the reaction from feminists to NOT being believed?

These “non-believers” hold “disturbing and harmful views” and those persons who DO NOT believe the utter tripe peddled by feminists have culminated in the “Concerning results” described above.

I can hear the gnashing of feminist teeth from here 😊

Some of those “disturbing and harmful views” that Laura House highlights in her article are these:

“What are the attitudes to violence against women in Australia?

A fifth believe that ‘a lot of what is called domestic violence is really a normal reaction to day-to-day stress and frustration’

  • 32% believe that a female victim who does not leave an abusive partner is partly responsible for the abuse continuing

  • Half believe that women mistakenly interpret ‘innocent’ remarks or acts as being sexist

  • 40% think women exaggerate how unequally women are treated and 36% believe many women fail to appreciate all that men do for them”

Emphasis added

As I said I am actually heartened by not only the results of this survey – which Laura House refers to as “A shocking new study……” but by the fact that these feminists are shocked.

Based on the above results – half (50%) of respondents reject the hysterical overreaction to remarks/comments etc that apparently the vast majority of sensitive little snowflakes are too thin-skinned to either shrug off or respond to LIKE A GROWN UP – with a smart-arse comment of their own – or do their brains not function at the same speed as “misogynists” 😉

The last two figures give me even more hope – 40% seem to realise that everything feminists have ever peddled about “inequality” is complete and utter bullshit and LIES.

THE 36% articulating the sheer lack of normal decent gratitude for the sacrifices that MEN make FOR women is hopeful – perhaps by the time they do the next “survey” there will be a “do you believe that the vast majority of wimmin are whiney, hysterical, ungrateful, vindictive and manipulative wretches?” and that 36% will look like a blip compared to the overwhelming majority who will answer that question with a resounding – YES.

One can only hope.

Slainte

Happy Fathers’ Day “Da”

 

Yesterday was Fathers’ Day here in Ireland, as it was in many other countries – I didn’t know that, my own father died when I 16 years, I am now 52 years old.

I don’t actually recall ever “celebrating” Fathers Day, but I do remember my father, I remember how he taught me to play chess, how he taught me to think, to question, to challenge ideas and assumptions.

I remember he was always there, I remember his love of books and reading and I remember many other things. Were there conflicts? Oh yes – if there was one thing I definitely inherited from my father it was a determination to “stand my ground” to fight for what I believed in, to refuse to be swayed by “popular” opinion.

THATS what I inherited from father – and for that I will always be grateful, always honour his memory and always remember that I am who I am because of my parents, both my mother and my father.

I know who I am because I knew and had my parents in my life, both of them, my father for such a short time. To this very day I know without a shadow of a doubt that my father would be 100% standing beside me in this path I have taken, I know he would be enraged and incensed at the injustices and the calumnies visited upon many many fathers today.

I am one of the lucky ones, I had my father in my life, and at a time when the vile ideology of feminism was struggling to take root here in Ireland.

This also I know – he had no time for “women’s libbers” as they were called way back when, nor did my mother for that matter. That would have been the general consensus of opinion when I was growing up, these women we saw on the news, ranting and raving and talking shoite were middle class, privileged fools with nothing better to do with their time than make fools of themselves, talking out their arses.

I did ask him once “what does women’s lib mean”? I was about 11 or 12 years old.

His answer – “you don’t need to be liberated, you are already free”

In fact, at the time I grew up, in the 1960’s and 1970’s all those men like my father, my uncles, my friends fathers would have been according to feminist ideology part of “the patriarchy” that vast global conspiracy of all men oppressing all women – everywhere.

These men, all these men worked, some like my father worked themselves to death FOR their families, morning, noon and night, for shit wages, in shit conditions, barely surviving from one week to another. They worked because they had no choice, they worked because they had responsibilities, they worked because THAT was what you did. If you were a man in Ireland, in the 1960’s and 1970’s. You worked or you starved, and your family starved, your children starved.

My father also did something else, he became involved in politics, he started to fight back against the real oppression, the real issues, the real injustices – and he didn’t do it because he wanted power – he did it because he couldn’t do anything else, because all around him he saw that injustice, he saw that oppression and it was visited upon everybody.

So, when I hear ignorant, ill-informed and snivelling feminists whine about “the patriarchy” about “oppression” and all the other shoite that spews out of the mouths and keyboards of these morons – I know – you are all talking out of your arses – that’s my father you’re talking about, my uncles, my friends fathers, and you are full of shit.

So, it was that I came to read this article, “Lack of justice for fathers one of biggest scandals of our time” by Lorraine Courtney Published 16/06/2014 [1]

I was pointed to it by Joe Egan of:

Fathers Rights Ireland [2]

Platform for European Fathers (PEF) [3]

See also facebook. [4]

While I welcome the main thrust of the article, several things made me grit my teeth in frustration, and I was almost tempted to decline Joe’s request to reblog or repost it. But then I realised – baby, bathwater.

Ms. Courtney makes some valid points, most notably in her opening paragraph.

“Friday Fathers’ Rights Ireland held a public stunt outside the Four Courts where they used a medieval pillory to symbolise the legal torture dads can be put through when relationships with their children’s mother turn sour. Here in Ireland, a father needs to be married in order to get automatic guardianship of his children. When a couple isn’t married, the mother remains the sole legal guardian until the father looks for guardianship.”

Torture is a good word to use, because that is what happens, legalised torture – of men – of fathers – what she fails to mention here is the toxic influence of feminism that has deliberately and purposely created both the circumstances and the attitudes that allow this torture to prevail. I object completely to the use of the word “stunt” a legitimate protest is NOT a “stunt”

“However, if the mother objects to this, the father must apply to his local district court to be made a guardian.It’s an all too common scenario now since 33pc of all children born in Ireland are to unmarried parents.Married men are entitled to guardianship of their kids but this can all change horribly when marriages fall apart.A father might believe he has rights but then can find that he’s expendable and faced with a horrendous and expensive legal battle on separation. A father has to fight bitterly to get what is automatically awarded to mothers.”

Her next paragraph touches on something pertinent – she says “A father might believe he has rights but then can find that he’s expendable and faced with a horrendous and expensive legal battle on separation

Actually a father does have rights – a married father that is – that is not the issue – the issue is that those rights are almost casually ignored, brushed aside, swept away – what is happening is that men and fathers rights have now been relegated to barely second place – if even that – this is not a case of not having rights, this is a system that has evolved, that functions to deny to violate and to abuse those rights. If you are a father and you do not happen to have been married to the mother of your child or children then yes – rights – are not something you can invoke.

Because this is a system that has been infected by a poisonous doctrine, an ideology based in hatred of men, founded on hatred of men, fed by hatred of men, and in particular by men who are fathers.

“And if he doesn’t have the cash, he doesn’t get to see his children. But even fathers who can afford it are stripped of their assets by costly legal battles and then might be told that they can’t have their child to stay overnight because their humble bedsit isn’t suitable.

In more unpleasant separations, a man might be falsely accused of all kinds of physical or sexual violence so that the court case drags on unnecessarily while this is investigated.Just take a look at the many fathers’ rights websites and you’ll soon see that men today tend to be victims of an unjust system that benefits the mum as opposed to the dad when it comes to children.

In fact, judging by messages left on the websites, false allegations are rampant and our court system separates too many innocent fathers from children”

She now touches on something here that is not only rampant, but is actively encouraged – Parental Alienation – even when the mothers – and it is mostly women who perpetrate this vile behaviour are not feminists – just nasty toxic individuals – it is feminism that has allowed these kinds of disgusting behaviour to proliferate – who have actively and deliberately engineered ancillary services to foster the breeding grounds that feed this toxic behaviour, in particular the infestation of feminists into social work.

In fact the American organisation NOW (National Organisation of Women) [5] the largest and loudest feminist organisation in the world and one of the first established after the so called second wave of feminism got going in the late 1960’s early 1970’s recently issued a statement [6] calling for Parental Alienation Disorder (as it is called here) to not be recognised.

In spite of all the evidence to the contrary, SEE.

[7] The Impact of Parental Alienation on Children; Every child has a fundamental need for love and protection. Published on April 25, 2013 by Edward Kruk, Ph.D. in Co-Parenting After Divorce

[8] Parental Alienation: Southern England Psychological Services

[9] Karen Woodall

[10] Parental Alienation page.

Feminists would rather allow children to suffer than to admit that women are just as capable, and in some cases more so of being total and utter arseholes just as some men are – to do so would undermine every single tenet of feminism, every single one, including the very basis upon which all feminist “theory” rests – men bad – women good.

“Family law researcher Roisin O’Shea observed 493 judicial separation and divorce cases in 2010 which are ordinarily held in private.She didn’t find a single case where the wife was ordered to pay maintenance for children or a spouse and had only seen the courts order joint custody in two cases.

Tina Rayburn, co-author of ‘I Want to See My Kids! A Guide for Dads Who Want Contact with Their Children After Separation’, writes: “Until people acknowledge the current system is flawed and has an overriding female bias, it will be difficult to see anything changing.

There are two core problems. I don’t think the courts recognise a child can live happily in two homes and they are loath to take a child away from its mother. There is still a perception that these guys have done something wrong and they don’t deserve to see their children.

“It seems that both women and men are more comfortable aligning themselves with campaigns to help the sisterhood, whereas nobody wants to be seen siding with the brotherhood”

The two bolded parts are the pertinent points – the system is flawed and the cause is ignorance, misinformation and a blind allegiance to myths peddled by toxic ideologues. The second point is about attitudes – social and cultural attitudes – again fostered and promulgated by toxic ideologues – and it must be said embraced with alacrity by some women, who while they themselves may not identify as feminists – this toxic paradigm gives them permission to manifest without any consequences the vilest, most reprehensible behaviour imaginable.

“Over the past few decades we have quite rightly been tackling issues like making sure that women have an adequate income after separation and patriarchal abuses like domestic violence. But doesn’t it seem like the pendulum has swung too far in the opposite direction?”

And this is where I gritted my teeth – the second point first – DV is NOT, has never been a manifestation of “patriarchal abuses” bearing in mind that DV is almost equally perpetrated by women and men – and up to 50% if not more is mutual. In fact in instances where DV or IPV (Intimate Partner Violence) is unidirectional (perpetrated by one person upon another) it is MORE likely that the abuser is female.

See the PASK (Partner Abuse State of Knowledge) [11] and see [12] for an analysis.

“To be clear, what PASK reveals is that the claims of the domestic violence establishment are wrong and have been from the start. That establishment that receives such largess from governments and private sources has been revealed once and for all to be intellectually bankrupt.”

“Section Two: Rates of Male and Female Perpetration. The authors studying data in this area analyzed 111 separate data sets comprising about 250,000 subjects. They found that about 25% of those subjects reported perpetrating physical violence against a current partner or one in their last relationship. That represented 28.3% of women and 21.6% of men who perpetrated violence against an intimate partner. Subjects came from across the industrialized, English-speaking world.”

“Section Three: Rates of Bi-Directional and Uni-Directional IPV. In this area, 50 separate studies that recorded rates of bi-directional versus uni-directional violence were analyzed. Researchers found that, in the largest samples studied, among couples reporting domestic violence, 57.9% reported reciprocal or bi-directional violence with the remainder, 42.1% reporting uni-directional violence. In the uni-directional group, women were over twice as likely (28.3%) to perpetrate violence as were men (13.8%).”

“Smaller samples revealed similar rates of bi-directional violence but community surveys showed 22.9% of women versus 17.5% of men perpetrating uni-directional violence. Among subjects in high school and college, 31.9% of women perpetrated uni-directional violence versus 16.2% of men.”

“Only in the sample of U.S. military personnel and “at-risk” males did men’s (43.4%) uni-directional violence rates outstrip those of women (17.3%).” [12]

Similiar results were found by Kieron McKeown and Phillipa Kidd in 2002 in Ireland – [13]

Men and Domestic Violence: What Research Tells Us by Kieran McKeown & Philippa Kidd

Kieran McKeown Limited, Social & Economic Research Consultants, Report to the Department of Health & Children March 2002

“With the exception of sexual violence which is overwhelmingly perpetrated by men against women, the results of these studies are fairly consistent in showing that, in approximately half of all intimate relationships where domestic violence occurred in the last year, both partners were mutually violent, with the remainder divided fairly equally between male -only violence and female-only violence.

As a result, the self-reported prevalence of domestic violence among men and women, both as victims and as perpetrators, is broadly similar for physical and psychological violence, both minor and severe. In addition, both men and women are about equally likely to initiate domestic violence and seem to give broadly similar reasons for doing so.” [13]

NB – A caveat regarding the McKeown/Kidd Report – while I agree in substance with the overall results of this report I do not agree with all the conclusions and interpretations that are contained within this report – in particular with the opening sentence of this paragraph and with this concluding section of the same paragraph.

“However it needs to be emphasised that the outcomes of domestic violence in terms of physical and psychological injuries tend to be considerably more negative for women victims than for men victims.”

This is simply wrong – and is once more a manifestation of the “men don’t really suffer” paradigm – this is wrong – it de-humanises men, it fails to recognise that men are human beings and human beings, whatever sex they are – suffer.

“These findings indicate that the existing consensus on this issue does not fully reflect the reality of violence between men and women in intimate relationships. The converse of these findings also needs to be emphasised: the vast majority of men and women are not violent to each other in intimate relationships. A key implication of these findings is that domestic violence is not a women’s issue or a men’s issue but a relationships issue.”

What is also worth emphasising is that domestic violence and abuse has sod all to do with a mythical patriarchy.

The first point is so beyond ridiculous that I sincerely doubt that Ms. Courtney even realises what she just wrote – and I am only conceding that point because in the main her article is a pretty good one.

Here’s the problem – why pray tell is it only important that “women have an adequate income after separation”? let me guess – men have no need for shelter, for food, for clothing, for medical care, men have no need for heat, for transport, for any of the necessities of life?

Would that be because they can call upon this vast global patriarchal conspiracy? Except there is NO patriarchy – there is NO conspiracy – it is a lie.

It is a lie told by feminists – because men are deemed NOT human beings – NOT even worth considering where they will l.ive, how they will live or even that they deserve to live – after all – men are not human beings – are they? Ms Courtney continues.

“Meanwhile, the father’s rights movement continues to be politically marginalised. But women aren’t the only “natural” caregivers and men can and should play an equal role in raising their children. The horrible injustices suffered by many dads and their children go by without as much as a whisper.The lack of justice for fathers is one of the biggest social scandals of our time.We have a legal system that is utterly out of touch with the way we live now in a world where dads change nappies, push buggies and spend hours cuddling their children in exactly the same way that good mothers do

She is right and wrong here – the fathers rights movement and the men’s rights movement may be as she says “politically marginalisednow – but that is changing – and will change – because after 40 + years of this shit – many many men have had enough – had enough of listening to feminists and women whining, shrieking and demanding more and more resources, more and more on the sole basis that they are female.

Alongside those men are other women – like me – who are not willing to stand by and allow these wretches, these toxic vile creatures to claim they speak for or on behalf of ALL women.

Wrong because she has made the rather lame point that this is somehow to do with changing nappies (diapers), pushing buggies (strollers) and “spending hours cuddling their children in exactly the same way that good mothers do

This is about the Human Rights of both fathers AND children – my father didn’t change nappies, and I doubt he ever (though I could be wrong) pushed a buggy – but he showed his love in the only way he could have – he showed his children every day how much he cared – he worked, he worked himself to death.

When I was about ten – I decided I wanted to be a writer and I was going to write plays – I told my “Da” know what he did?

He built me a tiny little “theatre” in the back garden – with a stage – and my mother made the curtains – took him two weekends, after working all week, he even made the benches for the “audience”(God help them) to sit on, and he sat on those benches cheering and clapping when my first “play” was performed.

I couldn’t tell you what this “play” was about – probably pirates – I had a big dream of being a pirate – but what I do remember is handing him nails, bits of scrap wood, of him explaining why this bit of wood went here and that bit went there – and I remember he did it – his child had made a wish – and he made it come true.

THAT’S what a father does.

 

 

References

 

[1] Lack of justice for fathers one of biggest scandals of our time http://www.independent.ie/opinion/lack-of-justice-for-fathers-one-of-biggest-scandals-of-our-time-30356806.html

[2] Fathers Rights Ireland http://www.slideshare.net/joseph-a-egan

[3] Platform for European Fathers (PEF) http://europeanfathers.wordpress.com/

[4] https://www.facebook.com/JosephAEganAthlone

[5] NOW http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Organization_for_Women

[6] http://www.nowfoundation.org/issues/family/pad.html

[7] The Impact of Parental Alienation on Children; Every child has a fundamental need for love and protection. Published on April 25, 2013 by Edward Kruk, Ph.D. in Co-Parenting After Divorce

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/co-parenting-after-divorce/201304/the-impact-parental-alienation-children

[8] Parental Alienation: Southern England Psychological Services – http://www.parental-alienation.info/

[9] Karen Woodall – http://karenwoodall.wordpress.com/

[10] Parental Alienation page. – http://homepages.iol.ie/~pe/pe02000.htm

[11] PASK http://www.domesticviolenceresearch.org/

[12] https://nationalparentsorganization.org/blog/20971-partner-abuse-state-of-knowledge-project-the-gold-standard-of-domestic-violence-information

[13] Men and Domestic Violence: What Research Tells Us by Kieran McKeown & Philippa Kid – Kieran McKeown Limited, Social & Economic Research Consultants, Report to the Department of Health & Children March 2002 – http://www.amen.ie/Downloads/mdv2.pdf

 

Domestic Violence: Myth – v – Truth.

 

The issue of domestic violence in Ireland as in every Western state is not just assumed to be, but universally accepted as violence against women – no questions asked.

Well, I have questions, and I have some answers, answers that will not please those who profit from perpetuating the myths of what domestic is, who perpetrates it. Why the reason the truth about it is carefully hidden, deliberately misrepresented and more importantly, why those who profit from it will lie, dissemble, manufacture false data and statistics and engage in vicious smear campaigns against those who seek to tell the truth about domestic violence.

As with all things to do with so called “women’s issues” the ultimate question has to be – who are not just the keepers of the myths, but the authors of the myths?

Feminists.

The reason why these myths persist is relatively simple – over the last 60 or so years feminism has insinuated itself into positions of authority and power – positions where feminism controls the narrative, controls the discourse, controls policy and controls funding – or rather – exerts enormous pressure on those who decide where and what gets funding.

In Ireland, it is no different than any Western state – though two things must be said – when the first refuges for women were opened, there was a genuine desire to provide safe havens for those women who were suffering from violence and abuse at the hands of their male partners – but that is only half the story.

The other half is that men have suffered and are suffering from violence and abuse at the hands of female partners – they always have, and continue to do so – but this half of the story has always been hidden, always been overlooked, men have been ever told. and came to believe it themselves – it’s not that bad – take it like a man – she’s half your size, what harm could SHE do to you?

Perhaps the most egregious myth peddled to men is this one – It doesn’t matter. Well, it DOES matter, it IS important, it can and does happen, and it IS that bad.

Domestic violence ISN’T a “woman’s issue”, domestic violence ISN’T “violence against women” domestic violence ISNT an expression of patriarchy, of male oppression of women.

Domestic Violence are acts of violence, abuse and aggression perpetrated by one human being against another within the four walls of the one place where you should be safe, should be secure, should be able to live without fear – YOUR HOME.

Gender is irrelevant, size is irrelevant, what is relevant is that violent people, and these comprise a small proportion of the general population come in two shapes – female and male.

This is the truth about domestic violence.

At least half if not more of all relationships where violence is a factor it is RECIPROCAL – both parties are violent towards one another.

Where the violence is unidirectional – both females and males initiate that violence in almost equal percentages, in some instances it is FEMALES who initiate the violence in greater numbers  It is as true in Ireland, as it is anywhere else in the world, yet here in Ireland something else is equally true.

Almost ALL the resources, services and supports for victims of domestic violence are directed at only half of the ACTUAL victims – women – male victims are ignored, are ridiculed, are deprived of help and are lied about. By feminists.

Violent PEOPLE are violent for all sorts of reasons, the least relevant factor is whether they are female or male – the most relevant factor is that a violent person is JUST AS LIKELY, if not more likely to be female as to be male.

THESE ARE FACTS – not myths, not carefully constructed lies built on false data, manufactured and corrupted statistics, on deliberately distorted studies and research – FACTS. The terminology used in this research is IPV – Intimate Partner Abuse.

Facts and Statistics on Prevalence of Partner Abuse

Victimization

  • Overall, 24% of individuals assaulted by a partner at least once in their lifetime (23% for females and 19.3% for males)
  • Higher overall rates among dating students
  • Higher victimization for male than female high school students
  • Lifetime rates higher among women than men
  • Past year rates somewhat higher among men
  • Higher rates of intimate partner violence (IPV) among younger, dating populations “highlights the need for school-based IPV prevention and intervention efforts”

Perpetration

  • Overall, 25.3% of individuals have perpetrated IPV
  • Rates of female-perpetrated violence higher than male-perpetrated (28.3% vs. 21.6%)
  • Wide range in perpetration rates: 1.0% to 61.6% for males; 2.4% to 68.9% for women,
  • Range of findings due to variety of samples and operational definitions of PV

Emotional Abuse and Control

  • 80% of individuals have perpetrated emotional abuse
  • Emotional abuse categorized as either expressive (in response to a provocation) or coercive (intended to monitor, control and/or threaten)
  • Across studies, 40% of women and 32% of men reported expressive abuse; 41% of women and 43% of men reported coercive abuse
  • According to national samples, 0.2% of men and 4.5% of women have been forced to have sexual intercourse by a partner
  • 4.1% to 8% of women and 0.5% to 2% of men report at least one incident of stalking during their lifetime
  • Intimate stalkers comprise somewhere between one-third and one half of all stalkers.
  • Within studies of stalking and obsessive behaviors, gender differences are much less when all types of obsessive pursuit behaviors are considered, but more skewed toward female victims when the focus is on physical stalking

Of the many myths around female violence the most persistent one is that it is “charming” or “funny” or “cute”. There is nothing charming or cute or funny about a female who slaps, punches, kicks, scratches or assaults a male with knives, tools or frying pans – there is nothing forgivable about a female who hurls vindictive spiteful and psychologically damaging abuse at a male, nor is it “not a big deal” when a female holds a male hostage by depriving him of access to his own money, his own thoughts, freedom to come and go as he likes, a key to his own front door.

IT IS JUST AS UNACCEPTABLE – when a female does it, as when a man does it – it is DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

Facts and Statistics on Context

Bi-directional vs. Uni-directional

  • Among large population samples, 57.9% of IPV reported was bi-directional, 42% unidirectional; 13.8% of the unidirectional violence was male to female (MFPV), 28.3% was female to male (FMPV)
  • Among school and college samples, percentage of bidirectional violence was 51.9%; 16.2% was MFPV and 31.9% was FMPV
  • Among respondents reporting IPV in legal or female-oriented clinical/treatment seeking samples not associated with the military, 72.3% was bi-directional; 13.3% was MFPV, 14.4% was FMPV
  • Within military and male treatment samples, only 39% of IPV was bi-directional; 43.4% was MFPV and 17.3% FMPV

If you are a female who has done any of the above things – I repeat – you are NOT funny, NOT cute, NOT charming – he didn’t “ask for it” you “don’t have the right, what you are is:

A vicious, violent abusive bitch, a miserable excuse for a human being, a snivelling nasty coward who should be in jail.

Partner Abuse Worldwide (sample of findings – my note)

  • A total of 162 articles reporting on over 200 studies met the inclusion criteria and were summarized in the online tables for Asia, the Middle East, Africa, Latin America and the Caribbean, and Europe and the Caucasus.
  • A total of 40 articles (73 studies) in 49 countries contained data on both male and female IPV, with a total of 117 direct comparisons across gender for physical PV.
  • Rates of physical PV were higher for female perpetration /male victimization compared to male perpetration/female victimization, or were the same, in 73 of those comparisons, or 62%.
  • There were 54 comparisons made for psychological abuse including controlling behaviors and dominance, with higher rates found for female perpetration /male victimization, in 36 comparisons (67%).
  • Of the 19 direct comparisons made for sexual PV, rates were found to be higher for female perpetration /male victimization in 7comparisons (37%).
  • When only adult samples from large population and community surveys were considered, the overall percentage of partner abuse that was higher for female perpetration /male victimization compared to male perpetration/female victimization, or were the same, was found to be 44% for adult IPV, although in many comparisons, the differences were slight.

 

There IS no excuse, no reason, no explanation that is in any way ACCEPTABLE – at all.

 

© Anja Eriud 2014

Mrs Justice Parker: Don’t always believe claims of domestic violence, as parents can ‘rewrite’ history when making accusations against each other

Is the tide finally starting to turn? Mrs Justice Parker in the High Court in the UK admonished social workers in this case for automatically believing allegations of domestic violence made against a father by a vindictive mother in a custody case, they believed her – the Judge didn’t!