A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to The Manosphere!

Came across this article:

15 Kick-Ass Caitlin Moran Quotes That Will Make You Proud To Be A Feminist By Nico Lang

http://thoughtcatalog.com/nico-lang/2013/10/15-kick-ass-caitlin-moran-quotes-that-will-make-you-proud-to-be-a-feminist/

 

I have no idea who Nico Lang is, but I have heard of Caitlin Moran – never actually read any of her stuff – knowing she was a feminist was enough. I had a vague notion she was supposed to be one of those “funny” feminists. I did read these “Kick-Ass Quotes” though and groaned.

A celebrity “funny” feminist – not one of the shrieking caterwauling types, the hardfaced bitter harridans then – one of the “witty” ones – therefore on the basis she isn’t screeching like a banshee about trivial shit she is ergo a “good feminist” ho hum.

I’ll be honest, all of these “kick-ass quotes” left me cold – didn’t even raise an eyebrow at the some of the stupider ones – the thing is – you can tart up the messenger, you can even make her “funny” and find one with a bit of wit, a bit of a sense of humour – still doesn’t disguise the fact that the message – feminism – is a turd.

As for the gushing fan, Nico – sigh – “proud to be a feminist” (rolls eyes) say no more.

Let’s take a look at her picks of these fabulous “kick-ass” Cailin Moran quotes, shall we?

“1. You should write, write, write every day, and learn to edit and pare it right back so you’re proud of every sentence, and each one is either being useful or beautiful, but hopefully both.”

Hmmm, methinks Ms. Moran has kind of missed the boat on that one – judging by the positive avalanche of unutterable crap that spews out from feminists/faux feminists/fluffy feminists and women day after day after day – all over the internet, the mainstream media, and anywhere that provides a platform/forum for the mindnumbingly boring trivia of the lives of women.

Ms. Moran seems to be falling into the trap of believing than each and every thought that meanders across the wide barren landscapes of the brains of a vast majority of women is………………….interesting!

It isn’t, it never was, it never will be – but now these brain dead masses have an unlimited outlet for their mindless witterings – jeez – kudos for encouraging these twats!

“2. You can tell whether some misogynistic societal pressure is being exerted on women by calmly enquiring, “And are the men doing this, as well?” If they aren’t, chances are you’re dealing with what we strident feminists refer to as “some total fucking bullshit.”

What does this crap even mean “some misogynistic societal pressure”? the most “societal pressure” being exerted on women is by other bloody women – by themselves – and by self-appointed gurus – like Caitlin Moron – “misogynistic societal pressure” my Irish arse! How about “relational aggression” of the “mean girls” type that women inflict on one another as nauseum as a more logical explanation of this “pressure” that women apparently are being subjected to!

“3. It’s difficult to see the glass ceiling because it’s made of glass. Virtually invisible. What we need is for more birds to fly above it and shit all over it, so we can see it properly.”

Oh look – it’s the “wage gap myth” dressed up in a funny! Though actually there is one teeney tiny grain of truth in that – when she says it’s “virtually invisible” she is in fact almost correct – not “virtually invisible” – actually INVISIBLE – because it doesn’t exist!

“4. We need to reclaim the word “feminism.” We need the word “feminism” back real bad. When statistics come in saying that only 29% of American women would describe themselves as feminist — and only 42% of British women — I used to think, “What do you think feminism IS, ladies? What part of ‘liberation for women’ is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay? ‘Vogue’ by Madonna? Jeans? Did all that good shit GET ON YOUR NERVES? Or were you just DRUNK AT THE TIME OF THE SURVEY?”

This one actually irritated me – I took it personally – for one reason and one reason only – I’m female – and who the hell does this bitch think she is telling me what I should or should’nt believe or subscribe to? Well that, and the hubris of peddling the same debunked crap and the hectoring schoolmistressy tone – just from reading the tired old lies she trundles out tells me this – between her and me – I know more about feminism than she ever will – and then some. Which is partly why I’m NOT a feminist. 🙂

As for reclaiming the “word” – sweetheart – you couldn’t give that word away now – you want to slap that toxic label on yourself? Go ahead and welcome. Tuck it under your pillow and the tooth fairy will come in the middle of the night and slip a copy of……..some turgid crap under that pillow – better than sleeping pills – believe me I know 😉

“5. A library in the middle of a community is a cross between an emergency exit, a life raft and a festival. They are cathedrals of the mind; hospitals of the soul; theme parks of the imagination.”

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz, jeez – that’s deeeeeep, in the way puddles are deep – Hallmark could probably use the services of Ms. Moran some day – if they ever run out of people to write pithy little greetings.

“6. A “sign of weakness” for a male celebrity is being found to be unfaithful, or unkind to an employee, or having crashed their car while stoned out of their tiny minds. A “sign of weakness” for a woman, on the other hand, can be a single, unflattering picture.”

Oh big fat deal – the doings of celebrities as a template for us lesser mortals! Because their lives are sooooooooooooo similar to the lives of “ordinary” people – and naturally if some female celebrity has a meltdown because of some “unflattering picture” this is a crisis for all womankind! sigh

“7. I have read more about Oprah Winfrey’s ass than I have about the rise of China as an economic superpower. I fear this is no exaggeration. Perhaps China is rising as an economic superpower because its women aren’t spending all their time reading about Oprah Winfrey’s ass.”

I’ve never read anything about Oprah’s Winfrey’s ass – because I don’t give two flying farts about Oprah Winfrey’s ass – I have on the other read about China, economic policies, global issues, politics in general, and many many articles, studies and reports relating to Human Rights abuses perpetrated against men and boys – because that’s what I CHOSE to read about! Perhaps China is rising as an economic superpower because it is buying up the debt of the world while inflicting Human Rights abuses on its citizens – both men and women?

By the way – who writes all this crap about Oprah Winfrey’s ass? Hmmmmmm, let me think. Oh yeah – women!

“8. When a woman says, “I have nothing to wear!”, what she really means is, ‘There’s nothing here for who I’m supposed to be today.”

Bollox! What it means is that some man somewhere is about to get emotionally blackmailed into funding this entitled bitch’s avarice and unrestrained consumerism in a shopping spree – “to keep her happy” blah!

“9. So this is why I can’t agree with “don’t feed the trolls.” When millionaire celebrity broadcasters and entire publications start trolling, ignoring them isn’t really an option anymore. They are gradually making trolling normative. We have to start feeding the trolls: feeding them with achingly polite emails and comments, reminding them of how billions of people prefer to communicate with each other, every day, in the most unregulated arena of all: courteously.”

Another one that I found myself thinking – what the ever loving fuck is she on about?

“10. These days, however, I am much calmer — since I realised that it’s technically impossible for a woman to argue against feminism. Without feminism, you wouldn’t be allowed to have a debate on women’s place in society. You’d be too busy giving birth on the kitchen floor – biting down on a wooden spoon, so as not to disturb the men’s card game – before going back to quick-liming the dunny. This is why those femalecolumnists in the Daily Mail — giving daily wail against feminism — amuse me. They paid you £1,600 for that, dear, I think. And I bet it’s going in your bank account, and not your husband’s. The more women argue loudly, against feminism, the more they both prove it exists and that they enjoy its hard-won privileges.”

 

And here it is – the one that really made me narrow my eyes and conclude – this twat is not only not funny – she is an arrogant, hubristic, bossy knickers, know it all – and – she has appointed herself the “boss of all women” – in other words – a bully.

Not only is it “technically possible” to argue against feminism as a female – all it requires is logic, reason, facts, evidence and truth – and has been done – brilliantly I might add by – Janet Bloomfield (Judgybitch) Alison Tieman (typhonblue) Karen Straughan (Girlwriteswhat) to name but three of very many women who have done exactly what this twat in her feminist hubris claims is “technically impossible”

Without feminism this world would be a fairer, more just, compassionate, equitable and rational place – without feminism – men and boys, women and girls would be treated as equal under the law – would be able to enjoy each other’s company as equally valued Human Beings – without feminism – draconian anti-male laws would never have passed. Prejudice, bigotry, hatred and spite levelled at one half of humanity would have attracted the universal contempt and condemnation it deserves.

 

Without feminism – women might actually have evolved into decent Human Beings.

 

“11. If you want to know what’s in motherhood for you, as a woman, then — in truth — it’s nothing you couldn’t get from, say, reading the 100 greatest books in human history; learning a foreign language well enough to argue in it; climbing hills; loving recklessly; sitting quietly, alone, in the dawn; drinking whisky with revolutionaries; learning to do close-hand magic; swimming in a river in winter; growing foxgloves, peas and roses; calling your mum; singing while you walk; being polite; and always, always helping strangers. No one has ever claimed for a moment that childless men have missed out on a vital aspect of their existence, and were the poorer, and crippled by it.”

I read this twice – had to – because my first thought was – she needs to either up her meds or perhaps reduce them.

Comparing having a child to reading 100 books! What a twat. Some of her “alternatives” were just insane – “drinking whiskey with revolutionaries”! Ya what? So, let’s see – fly off to war torn region – hunt down some “revolutionaries” clutching your bottle of whiskey in one hand no doubt, and sit around the camp fire singing Kumbaya!

Her last sentence is a classic self-absorbed femocentric ignorance – “….childless men have missed out on a vital aspect of their existence, and were the poorer, and crippled by it.” Because men are just sex robots, aren’t they? Men have no deep seated desire to have families, to have children? Because men are not Human Beings with all the natural normal human instincts to………………………have children of their own?

“12. I cannot understand anti-abortion arguments that centre on the sanctity of life. As a species we’ve fairly comprehensively demonstrated that we don’t believe in the sanctity of life. The shrugging acceptance of war, famine, epidemic, pain and life-long poverty shows us that, whatever we tell ourselves, we’ve made only the most feeble of efforts to really treat human life as sacred.”

Apples and oranges – perhaps you can’t understand the arguments because you are a………………….moron?

Ergo – raise a smokescreen of completely unrelated issues to camouflage your lack of ability to appreciate that for some people – me included – holding human life sacred, even potential human life is not that difficult – in fact – many people are perfectly capable of understanding and appreciating many different perspectives on the human experience – poverty, war, famine etc and formulating opinions and views on them that encompasses politics, economics, public policy, globalisation, debt, Human Rights – though – as a feminist – I can see that addressing complex issues is a bit of a struggle for someone with such limited intellectual capacity.

“13. For throughout history, you can read the stories of women who — against all the odds — got being a woman right, but ended up being compromised, unhappy, hobbled or ruined, because all around them, society was still wrong. Show a girl a pioneering hero — Sylvia Plath, Dorothy Parker, Frida Kahlo, Cleopatra, Boudicca, Joan of Arc — and you also, more often than not, show a girl a woman who was eventually crushed.”

The only part of this that made any sense – in a twisted kind of way was the “…..against all the odds — got being a woman right…..” in other words – fuck being a decent Human Being – it’s all about the vag!

“14. We must recall the most important of humanity guidelines: Be polite. Being polite is possibly the greatest daily contribution everyone can make to life on Earth.”

Really? Being polite is “…..the most important of humanity guidelines..” seriously? I would have said treating all Human Beings as equals under the law – ensuring that the Human Rights of all Human Beings are equally protected, endorsed and enforced – that no person is discriminated against, subject to injustice or abuse, terrorised or maligned because that person happens to be the least “special” sex.

But for you – the funny feminist – it’s “being polite”

“15. “I’m neither ‘pro-women’ nor “anti-men.” I’m just “Thumbs up for the six billion.”

I’m sure I’m supposed to know what this means – is it something to do with that idiot Eve Enslar? The dancing vagina idiot? Either way – this is definitely the stupidest thing this idiot has said – why does it never occur to these numbskulls there really is only one thing to be?

 

Pro Human Beings!

 

If these are the reasons why this Nico Lang person is “proud to be a feminist” then darling you have some real  issues 🙂